Addictions

Carl Jung is quoted as saying, "Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism." Yes, addictions are bad and yet most of us seek comfort in repetitive behaviour. It might not quite be the obvious insanity that lies in the madman's rocking backwards and forwards but is is still madness. To quote another person who is a lot more clever than me, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." That was Albert Einstein, of course people who are addicted don't neccessarily find themselves expecting a different result. They simply hope that the addictions will take away the pain, memories, time and uncertainty from which they are running.

What am I addicted to? Procrastination, I love not doing things so that I can have the stress of having to do thing at the last minute. I must enjoy it on some perverse level because I keep repeating that cycle over and over again. Even while I am writing this I should be working on a proposal that is a few days overdue already. Is the proposal difficult, not really it is just a matter of sitting down going through everything and sorting out what needs to be done. Then putting it all together, working out hours and cost. Yup, boring unless there is a certain level of stress involved at which stage it becomes a challenge to see if I can do it. Apparently the stress has gotten enough for me to do it. Of course I could do it at a steady pace right from the time I know that I have to do it. Use those hours that get wasted doing stuff that isn't as important. Yes I could but then what would I stress about and where would my body get its fix from? Addictions are sneaky things, the easiest way and probably the only way to really beat them and not simply replace them with something else is to find out why they exist. Why do I procrastinate? Maybe because nobody really cares if you do it on time, you get more attention if you are late but I don't think that is it. It could be the fear of failure even the fear of success, I don't know but since it is late and I would like to get some sleep let me go finish the proposal so that i can get some sleep.